Tag Archives: Ohio

Growing Up with Rita: Part IV – “Remembering Rita”

I assume that since Rita and I were only 22 months apart was one of the reasons Mom treated us the same…like twins. From early age through elementary school, we were dressed alike. Mom made most of our dresses so it must have been easier to use one pattern and one size.

The different personalities that were blooming under those identical dresses were evident early on. Rita should have been the oldest and I the younger sister. She had an independent, let’s do this, I don’t care what others think attitude towards life. I, on the other hand, stood back, was hesitant and tried to please others.

When we became adults, nothing changed. She continued life on a path requiring strong will, independence, determination and stoicism. She faced tough situations with true grit. She rarely expressed her deep feelings and emotions in words or tears.

We cried together as children when baby birds fell from their nests and we tried caring for them in shoeboxes. They all died and we cried. We cried over our dogs and cats when they died.
After we were both married and had families was the first time Rita shared with me on the phone that she was going to find a quiet place alone and cry. The date was July 12, 1975. We had been informed that our Dad’s only sister had died at the age of 47. We were close to her.

It was then that I realized that this tough skinned sister of mine had a heart of compassion and deep feelings. She cried in private. She was devoted to her daughter, family, friends, God, church, underdogs, and education. She “showed” it by her actions. She was my “show up” sister.

In 1987, our 16 year old daughter, Sara, was in a serious four-wheeler accident. She was in ICU for 8 days, three of those days unconscious. Without notice, Rita “showed up” at our house after a seven hour drive. Charlie and I were at the hospital. Our 12 year old daughter was home. Abby guided Rita on the 30 minute drive to the hospital. I will never forget the look on Rita’s face when she saw Sara. It was deep compassion, but no tears. She then took Abby home, fed her macaroni and cheese and sent her to bed for rest. The next day she went home.

After Mom died, Dad needed care. We placed him in an assisted living facility for 2 years in Findlay, Ohio. Rita oversaw his care from Flint. When he needed constant skilled care, Charlie and I brought him to Indianapolis so I could see him in a facility here on a daily basis. I kept Rita updated as she did me when she was on duty. After 8 months, I found another place for Dad that was closer to me. I told Rita all about it and that I felt comfortable with the move.

Early one Sunday while I was at church meeting with ladies for prayer, I looked up and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but my “show up” sister looking at me through the door window. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she drove down the day before and spent the night in Dad’s room observing the care he was getting as well as spending time with him. With a quick hug she was off, driving back to the children in Flint.

The best “show up” Rita event ever was on Lin’s birthday one year ago this past April. Rita surprised Lin at her party. She took a wrong turn getting off the subway and trekked the streets of Manhattan until she found her daughter.

I would give anything to see that rickety, worn out van pull up to Sara’s or my house spewing children out before it came to a complete stop.

I would give anything to see one more Rita “show up” at our family reunion in Findlay this July. Rita loved this time with relatives they enjoyed her humor and delighted in the children.

I guess the next “show up” sister event will be me when God says it is time for me to enter His presence. I know Rita will be there waiting to greet me with her witty, dry welcome, “Well, what took you so long?” No more tears.


CathernPaxton

Growing Up with Rita: Part II – Grandma and Grandpa Who?

Eben Avenue was not the only street in Findlay, Ohio that provided memories for Rita and me. When it came to Grandparents and Great Grandparents, we were blessed. Bell Avenue, Broad Avenue, Center Street and Cherry Street also housed grandparents.

As adults, Rita and I shared many giggles and guffaws when talking about our memories of interesting grandparents. We devised ways in keeping them straight. These recollections are not meant to be disrespectful but helpful in placing images in your mind as two young sisters saw them.

Pearl and Hazel Gardner, our Dad’s parents, lived next door to us our entire growing up years. Grandpa was a large man of few words. He rarely shared his thoughts and feelings with us. We knew he loved us, but we never heard the words which was not uncommon for that generation.

Grandpa would come home from a hard day’s work carrying his black lunch pail and head down the short sidewalk from the house to his own man cave which was his two car garage with a coal stove, woodworking tools, his pipe, his chair and his dog. I mentioned that he was a man of few words, but there were times when Grandma would push the wrong button and out would come words that left Rita and me standing there, wide eyed knowing not to utter a sound. If you recall the father in “Christmas Story” with all those unintelligible words expressing great frustration, well that was Grandpa Pearl. Grandma would stand there, close her eyes with a grimace, shaking her head and clenching her fists. She hated for us to hear such profanity. She had great self-control and patience because we knew that 99 pound, energizer bunny body could do great harm to Grandpa if she so desired.

The writers for the “The Beverly Hillbillies” must have taken our Grandma Hazel for their Granny. They looked alike and frequently sounded alike. Grandma Hazel was busy from sunup to sundown facing the day properly adorned with her clean aprons. She knew what was going on in our house and our aunt’s house down the street. She was the ultimate, loving busybody. She was talented in writing and playing the piano. She attended the Findlay College Conservatory of Music. She is responsible for Rita’s love of the piano.

She was close to permanently traumatizing us when we witnessed her going after a chicken in the backyard, catching it and chopping off his head with an ax. Rita and I recalled the horrible stench of wet feathers as she prepared to pluck them off before cleaning and cutting it up for the frying pan. She taught us to iron, shell peas, snap green beans and the proper way of washing dishes. She often said that a good cook starts with a sink filled with soapy, hot water. She made the best sugar cookies and would send them to us when we were away in college. She died in 1992 at the age of 92…then there were no more.

William and Edith Gardner were great-grandparents. Rita and I knew them as Grandma and Grandpa with the Kitties. For years we thought that were their names. Since we already had a Grandpa and Grandma Gardner, this was a way to distinguish them. As you might have already figured out, they always had a litter of new kittens for us to play with. Rita and I loved those kittens. We mostly spent time there during the summer months as that is where the large family garden was located.

The nursery rhyme, “Jack Sprat”, was a perfect description of them. Grandpa William was tall and thin while Grandma Edith was short and fluffy. When she laughed, it sounded more like a wheeze than a laugh. On her kitchen stove was a grease jar where the drippings from bacon and other meats were collected and used for frying eggs and everything else.

Bob, Pearl, Willilam, EdithThe four generation picture shown is of Dad, Grandpa Pearl, and William and Edith Gardner. Rita and I chuckled as adults at this picture. There were other four generation pictures the same day but by the time this (the last) was taken, we were done with all the photo shoots as seen by my dazed look and Rita’s pout of disgust and teary eyes.

Clinton and Rosa Chambers lived in a stately two story home with beautiful wood throughout the interior. When we would go to their house for a visit, Dad always went by way of the back ally to their backyard. There was a very long narrow sidewalk leading up to the back porch. Rita and I spent most of our time running and skipping up and down this walk. There was not much for us to do in the house except peck on the piano, so the backyard with the porch swing was our place of entertainment.

Grandma Rosa looked and cackled like the Wicked Witch in “The Wizard of Oz.” I can still hear her and Grandma Hazel laughing in the kitchen…a joyful cackling session to say the least. Grandpa Clinton, had only one arm. He tragically lost the other in a farming accident. He was a soft spoken man, hard to hear and understand most of the time. His attire was always the same…a crisp, clean long sleeved shirt with the empty sleeve neatly tucked inside his belt. Suspenders completed his ensemble.

Mom’s father died when I was 6 weeks old. They had 8 children together. Marie, the first child died at age 5. Grandma Mae married Frank Dewey who was raising his four children on his own. A large blended clan was formed fondly known as the Lentz/Dewey family. Christmas and Thanksgiving Holidays were celebrated in the average size two story house with a carved out basement that housed a ping pong table. How this house was able to sustain the large family of 11 with their spouses and children is nothing short of a miracle. It was the nosiest of gatherings in our growing up years. A player piano in the front room was constantly being played, cousins running and squealing, other children playing “button, button, who’s got the button” on the stairway, back and front doors banging from kids running in and out while the ladies were in the kitchen preparing a huge feast.

The three oldest cousins, Sandy, Twila and I, spent time together while the second set of three, Rita, Nancy and Janealla, had their own time together.

Grandma Dewey was the epitome of patience. This short, rounded woman was kind and gentle. She smiled through the chaos of the day and the trials of life as well. Grandpa hardly said a word during these holiday invasions. He sat along the side somewhere, picking at his fingers probably wondering when they were all going to go home. He was a good man to put up with all of us.

Grandma Dewey was an artist. She helped Rita and me paint our first framed pictures. Our Mom kept them for many years. There are a number of artists from this family thanks to Grandma.

The annual Lentz/Dewey reunion is still held in Findlay, Ohio in July. Rita loved attending this precious event and we all loved seeing her, often with the Tyler children. The number attending the reunions has dwindled due to deaths in recent years. This year I will go with a huge lump in my throat. No Rita 🙁

Grandma Mae’s parents were Charles and Lodema LaRue. Grandpa was another tall, large man who wore suspenders. He was quiet and gentle as was Grandma LaRue. She wore her hair in a bun. She had a large mole on her chin with a few long hairs in it. There were not as many cousins for us to play with at the LaRue house. We did not know as many from this family as with some other grandparent gatherings. Rita and I found it difficult to be in the house due to a strong odor. We did not find out until adulthood that Grandma LaRue had a bladder problem. Rita was an expert at turning up her nose in a funny sort of way whenever the occasion called for it. I have pictures to prove it. Rita and I were blessed. How many people have a plethora of memories from growing up with 10 grandparents? I hold them all close in my memory bank alongside my sister Rita.


CathernPaxton

Growing Up with Rita: Part I

My twenty two month younger sister, Rita Ann Gardner Langworthy, and I spent our growing up years in Findlay, Ohio. Nestled in a town of 35,000 was a short street approximately two blocks long called Eben Avenue. It was this neighborhood we called home that brought the greatest joys and memories any child could experience.

We were born in the forties to Robert and Nellie Gardner; however, our bank of memories were birthed in the 50’s and 60’s.

If you are familiar with reruns of past TV programs, “Leave it to Beaver”, “The Donna Reed Show” and “Happy Days” and the like, that is the life we lived. Mom didn’t wear lovely dresses with a pearl necklace and high heels while doing housework and caring for the family. She was a stay at home Mom until Rita and I were in junior high school. She then began wearing the nice dresses and high heels for her office job at the headquarters of The Marathon Oil Company until her retirement.

Dad’s sister, Verna Mae, lived with her family on the same street up one block. Dad’s parents, Pearl and Hazel Gardner, lived next door to us. It was definitely a family affair.

The street was peppered with other families with children about our ages. The houses are still there today. The McAlexanders, DePuys, Wooleys, Hagermans, Sands, Rikers, Davises and Clines were the kids we spent most of our time playing out door games.

Rita and I walked to the elementary school only 2 ½ blocks from home, along with the other neighborhood kids. There was a huge, old, creepy house located by the railroad track we had to cross. We would run full speed ahead past it and over the tracks before slowing down. We knew it was haunted and would take no chance of a monster coming out after us.

The students who attended McKinley Elementary School were walkers. When it was time for lunch, we walked home. Mom was at the door waiting to greet us. Lunch was ready.

We had an hour lunch break. Following our meal, Mom would sit down to watch her two soap operas…”Search for Tomorrow” and “The Guiding Light”. They were only 15 minutes long and were performed live on TV. She really got into them. More than once she would send us back to school with tears streaming down her face at what poor Joanne was experiencing.

After school was time for play until dinner when Dad arrived home. We helped with dishes and then scampered outside to play hopscotch, jump rope, hide and seek, jacks or sometimes off to the backfield to play ball until darkness sent us home. Our parents did not need to worry about our safety as they do today.

Our house was a small two bedroom home. Rita and I shared a bedroom. Bedtime had its own routine ending with Mom and Dad lovingly tucking us in.

Those early childhood days seem like only yesterday. It was the best of times growing up with Rita.


CathernPaxton